MNA Life Style Desk: Every parent wants their kids to be successful. It is the purest wish a parent can have. Making this wish a reality is an entirely different matter. There is no set recipe for raising kids. Psychologists have found a few common threads of successful parenting:
Assigned regular tasks
Research shows that when children are given chores at an early age it cultivates in them a sense of responsibility, self-reliance and mastery.
When using chores to build your child’s character, researchers caution that chores and allowance be kept separate. Studies show that external rewards can actually lower intrinsic motivation.
Established high expectations
Having realistically high expectations for kids is essential to successful parenting. More often than not, children rise to the expectations set for them. The trick is to set the bar high enough that your kids do have to stretch for it but keeping it in the realm of possible.
Developed social skills
In today’s world, social intelligence is just as important as intellect. Successful parenting ensures that kids learn to be cooperative in their peer-to-peer relationships, helpful and able to empathize with others intuitively and without prompting.
Quality time spent
The number of hours moms spend with kids between ages 3 and 11 does little to predict the child’s behavior, well-being, or achievement. It’s the quality of the time spent that counts. “Helicopter” or “Tiger” parenting is not the intended approach. Parents should work to keep the environment and interactions engaging and stimulating but not stressful.
Support in developing a sense of self
This is done by establishing balance as a parent. Over-parenting hinders a child’s development of independence and permissive parenting robs kids of integrity, direction and the ability to focus and commit. Children need to be able to identify their own strengths, weakness, preferences and dislikes.